How to Reach Out When Depressed

Thursday, September 12, 2019 , , , , 0 Comments

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent.”
John Donne

Do you ever feel like the world is made up of two parties - the strong and the weak? Well, I feel so too. Many people are quick to give a helping hand but fail to seek help when they need it. Not needing help has become our definition of strong.

We have placed so much hype on people that tend to be "doing things on their own." It’s common to hear comments like "I am self-made" flying up and down. Let me say at this point that no one is truly independent and no one is dependent, we are all interdependent.

We are all connected and we need others to survive. Dependency is about relying on someone, independence is about relying on yourself. However, interdependence is a balance between dependence and independence.

It’s the point where giving or receiving does not make you any better or worse. An interdependent mindset allows you to understand that your self-worth doesn't increase or diminish when you offer or are offered assistance.

What shows that you are comfortable and not ashamed of your imperfections or mistakes is your ability to share with someone. Taking this step could help us even see the whole picture with a new pair of glasses.

When you truly love yourself, you will discover that love is not a one-way journey but love is about giving and receiving. Brene Brown said, "open-hearted receiving leads to open-hearted giving."

As someone who practices self-love, you should be able to occasionally open up and share with people your challenges or shortcoming. This will save you the stress of staying in the "valley of destitution."

Building your self-worth revolves around accepting yourself the way you are despite your imperfections. Besides, it entails going the extra mile to seek out a listening ear when you get it wrong and life happens. This is a constant reminder that you are not ashamed of yourself.

Reaching out to others

Reaching out means standing up to the "never good enough trap," and sharing our story with someone who has earned the right to hear it. It'll be interesting to know that shame buried or hidden will always have a way to hunt us.

The fastest way to overcome depression and cast shame away is by reaching out and talking to someone because shame loves secrecy. You overpower shame when you reach out. Since you want to reach out, be careful not to share your story with the wrong people.

6 Things to consider when choosing friends

You can have many friends, but you should be mindful of who you allow into your inner circle. In selecting friends to share with, you should be able to pick someone that;

1. Is not ashamed of you even after hearing your story. 

2. You would be able to share with and the person will show empathy (understanding) not sympathy (sorry).

3. Is not expecting you to be perfect. You should share with someone that can deal with your imperfections or mistakes and understand that no one wants to mess up but sometimes life happens. Share with someone that will offer constructive criticism instead of scolding you. Such a friend will be ready to hold your hands and stand by you as you heal from the experience.

4. Is mentally strong. You don’t want to be caught sharing with vulnerable people who can’t handle vulnerability because you may end up opening their wounds and hurting them in the process.

5. Is not a finger pointer; always looking for someone to blame.

6. Is available and has time for you.

Written by Richard Okiasi.
Richard is a writer and author. He speaks and writes about the things he's learning and practicing as he grows his mind, finance, business, and investment. You can connect with him on TwitterFacebook, and LinkedIn

Bola Adekile

Craves basking in the present moment, keen fan of nature. Unapologetic learner. Reader.