Rejection as a Gift in Disguise

Monday, May 30, 2016 , , 2 Comments

Rejection as a gift

For certain reasons, we are naturally drawn to some people and groups. The longing to belong to somewhere or someone exclusively is an intrinsic part of us. It may be out of sheer curiosity, admiration or to have a sense of belonging. Once we are convinced that they are worthy of our investments, we do all sort of things and can go to extreme length, expecting a return on our investments.

If the attention is not reciprocated, it feels like we've been deprived of something worthwhile. It's appalling how a lifetime can be wasted on seeking and forcing approval. We feel unwanted and unworthy, asking if something is wrong with our very self, sinking further into the dark pit of self pity.

Being rejected really sucks, especially when it happens constantly, but it shouldn't hurt that bad. It can be a curse or blessing, depending on our personal perspective and mindset. We have the power to change the rejection into acceptance, by starting with the numero uno, ourselves. It may be that the connection we were striving for wasn't meant for us in the first place, or the timing was wrong. If something is meant to be, it will be eventually.

Alexander Graham Bell said, "When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us". The shaky hope that one day, the person or group will see our effort and accept us and believing that there are no better options out there, makes us to linger at the closed door. That's a myopic view of life, wake up, this is the 21st century.

The moment we stop applying the extra effort, its either our tribe find us or we find them. When this happens, there is no need to try too hard to make them stay. They will stay because that's where they belong.

Bola Adekile

Craves basking in the present moment, keen fan of nature. Unapologetic learner. Reader.


  1. Very interesting!
    'when a door closes, another opens'
    I hope people would grab something from here as i have grabbed a quote!

    1. I'm glad you could grab something, thanks for coming around Tunde.