How Chronic Worrying Is Hurting Your Love Life

Thursday, May 19, 2016 , 0 Comments


It usually starts with a what, what if, maybe, why or the other variations. What is she up to right now? What if he finds someone more attractive? What if she leaves and never come back? Maybe they are now together? Why is he ignoring my calls? Why isn't she replying my text on time? The answers to these questions create things that are unreal through imagination. A single thought will spawn thousands more, it remains a wonder that the brain doesn't blow up as a result of over thinking.

Worrying too much is caused mainly by fear, the fear of what may happen in the future. If everyone you know is engaging in it, that doesn't mean that it's beneficial. It is doing more harm than good. No matter how much we want to control what happens in a relationship or a partner, we will only keep creating more problems. If that is the case, the only thing that we have power to control is how we choose to respond. Its important to relinquish control and relax.

The worried mind is cunning in making assumptions. When it is fed with fear, doubt and anxiety, it will lead to confusion, thereby impairing proper decision making. Seeds of distrust are quickly sown without any tangible evidence. Consciously replacing negative thoughts with the opposite can help nip this in the bud.

Insecurity, which is a byproduct of worrying is a very unattractive trait, it makes attraction fizzle out in no time. Nothing is appealing in having to constantly reassure someone of everything. Ditching the worry habit boosts confidence.

Perhaps, it's time to stop giving the relationship too much attention and focus on other things. Trust that things will work out fine at the end of the day, even if it's not exactly the way you wanted.

Bola Adekile

Craves basking in the present moment, keen fan of nature. Unapologetic learner. Reader.