The Number One Defect of Most Crutches

Tuesday, April 12, 2016 , 1 Comments


For the hundredth time, I checked my phone for notifications. As there were none, I quickly refreshed the feed reader, my palms were already itching, the urge to touch my beloved phone was overwhelming. My face beamed with delight as I started scrolling and clicking away, how I love the web! The whole world is on your palms waiting to be unveiled. I took it everywhere, with my face glued to its screen most of the time.

People around me were concerned, but why can't they leave me alone in peace? How many times do I have to explain that I'm not into any shady deals online or offline? Well, my excuse was that I have to be updated from time to time because I needed information more than anyone else on the planet.

It ranges from celebrity gossip, trends, pop culture, news, DIYs, hacks, tutorials, latest discoveries, articles on a wide array of topics, just name it. King Solomon with all his wisdom and knowledge called it vanity, it doesn't matter anyway, I'm yet to acquire the tiniest fraction of what he had.

We need a form of support in our lives on dark and not so dark days. It is not a sign of weakness, as we all have different coping mechanisms for various situations. Most of them are not bad in the first place, but may hamper our overall wellbeing when we use them as if our survival depends absolutely on them, thereby making them crutches.

These crutches comes in various forms like smoking, overeating, drinking, overworking, acquiring more stuff, relying on people for our happiness and the reassurance of our self worth, etc. Our dependence on them arises from a place of neediness, we can't imagine life without them. In the real sense, we don't really "need" them.

With awareness comes freedom. I used to find solace in my phone when I was bored, sad, stressed or in awkward situations. I was expecting it to fill a void which is not the purpose that it was made for. Although, it gave me temporary gratification each time, I couldn't stop and it became an addiction. It was affecting my productivity and the important relationships in my life. After living in denial for months, I decided that it was about time I find a solution.

Paying less attention to it by engaging in my other interests was the first step I took. Focusing on its negative impact, I kept reminding myself that I won't die if I didn't touch it for an hour or two, it is not a matter of life or death. It's okay if I miss out on few things. Initially, I would rush back to the phone, but with determination, there's no habit that can't be unlearned once the root cause is identified and appropriate steps are taken promptly. This may not applicable to all cases as professional help or a support group may be necessary for some.

Bola Adekile

Craves basking in the present moment, keen fan of nature. Unapologetic learner. Reader.

1 comment:

  1. You're definitely right about this. Sometimes we allow our phone to control us instead of us controlling it.
    How are you doing ?