Are Your Caring Skills Obsolete? Upgrade Now!

Friday, November 20, 2015 , , 3 Comments

"Don’t sacrifice yourself too much, because if you sacrifice too much there’s nothing else you can give and nobody will care for you." - Karl Lagerfeld

The caretaker personality. They are the selfless, nurturing breed who will often go out of their way to satisfy those around them, without minding that they are running empty. These are the people who will not hesitate to pour the whole of their soul into others. They live by this rule, "others before self", you can't blame them because caring is in their genes.

Their caring nature makes them vulnerable to manipulators. It is difficult for them to say no to the request of others most of the time, even if it's to their own detriment. They always complain that people cheat and take them for granted. Also, it is normally assumed that they've got it all together and don't need help. They are like the Shulamite Woman who was busy attending to the needs of her siblings, but totally neglected hers.

Are your boundaries being violated? Check if they exist at all. The crucial thing is to have clearly defined ones. Some will never respect your boundaries, know when to take a walk. Be intentional about what you will and won't tolerate at the onset of any new relationship, you may even make a list of the behaviors that you won't accept in the future.

For existing relationships, you can work on them gradually. I am not suggesting that you become mean, you can prioritize yourself and still retain the goodness in you. Stop worrying about the possibility of people not liking the new you. Those who really matter will get used to it sooner or later and remember, it's your life, what is important is you, not the random opinion of others.

See, the cares of the world isn't resting on your shoulders. Be easy on yourself. Shake off the guilt that comes with saying no. When was the last time you had some me time? Dare to do the things that you've always wanted to do, you are not reporting to any taskmaster at the end of the day. Take a break, enroll for that class, join that club, pamper yourself, travel to that exotic city. Why? Because you deserve some loving care, from you too.

Bola Adekile

Craves basking in the present moment, keen fan of nature. Unapologetic learner. Reader.


  1. Nice post.. Indeed One shouldn't neglect him/herself for the sake of helping others

  2. That's just it, thanks for stopping by.

  3. But if can't just do without helping others