No, They Are Not Crazy

Friday, October 30, 2015 , , 0 Comments

Emotional abuse

It felt like heaven, or so it seemed. Betty was convinced that she had met her soul mate, fate has eventually brought them together. He was everything that she had ever desired, they had so many things in common and he 'love' her. It was love at first sight, the connection was magical. She believed that no one could accept and love her better.

She was confused about him most of the time, but she'll tell herself, 'if love doesn't confuse you, then it's not true love'. Really? One moment she was wondering if he truly loves her, the next, his display of love was so dramatic. She was constantly walking on eggshells due to his explosive anger. 'He truly loves me, maybe he's just having a bad day', she always concluded.
She kept hoping for a change that never came, he didn't change. Her confidence and self worth started chipping away, bit by bit till there was nothing left. It's difficult to understand why he has two sets of behavior: one for her and another for the outside world. He was controlling and manipulative, it's either his way or the highway, still, it was nearly impossible to leave him.
Emotional abuse is one of the deadliest form of abuse. The reality that there are no visible scars makes the pain hurt harder and can be very difficult to heal. Emotional abusers are skilled at mimicking the interests of their victims, this makes them to gain trust early. Women are not the only ones affected, men can be victims too.

You can't stop wondering why that friend of yours is still in that relationship after making her see thousand reasons why the relationships is wrong. You've concluded that its her life anyway. Leaving an abuser can be very hard, the abuser has almost 100% hold on their victims. It's like an addiction to a hard drug.

The best thing that you can do for an abused friend is to pray for him/her. Many victims assume that they deserve it or that its normal. No one deserves to be abused. Ask God to restore their dignity and make them know the truth, that the truth should set them free completely.

Linking them up with resources that are related to abuse can also go a long way. They may be able to see things from a different point of view rather than yours. Be careful not to be overbearing though.
They will need someone to talk to from time to time, be there for them. Listen, but don't judge. Don't pitch them against their partner, it may have terrible consequences. Reassure them that they are not crazy or stupid and that they deserve better. Remind them how amazing they are. Give them all the love that you can.        

Bola Adekile

Craves basking in the present moment, keen fan of nature. Unapologetic learner. Reader.