Why True Healing is the Basis of Healthy Relationships

It takes two whole people to make a healthy relationship work.

The keyword is healthy, not perfect. 

The number one prerequisite of a healthy relationship is two whole people.

True healing goes beyond getting over your past relationships or forgiving an ex who hurt you. 

Sadly, many people are still battling with unresolved childhood trauma, psychological issues, low self-esteem, and toxic traits, which usually contribute to soul wounds.

These are the major reasons why an unhealthy pattern will keep repeating itself. 

Ignoring the underlying issues and trying to fill the void with different relationships or activities is self-sabotaging.

Without proper healing, an individual can continue to attract broken people. More so, it may be difficult to spot red flags and potential partners who are emotionally and mentally healthy. 

The journey to healing can be a lonely and daunting one, but it's always worth the effort.

If you're ready to start that journey, then you need to embrace a growth mindset and ditch the negative self-talk.

You can't rush the process. Remember, you didn't arrive here in a day.

Defining Your Routine Style

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

It’s essential to develop a consistent morning routine for a healthy mindset. Successful people often have a routine they stick to and this helps them to reach both short and long-term goals.

Our habits define our lifestyles. How you start your mornings can either make or break your day. For instance, if you start your day with negative self-talk instead of positive affirmations, there’s a higher chance of having a really bad day.

You don’t have to go through your day stressed or depressed.

You have a choice.

Having a healthy and happy start will leave a positive mark on our day and the time you wake up doesn’t matter.

It’s imperative to design structures if we want to improve any aspect of our lives. The best routines are not set in stone. There is no need to overwhelm ourselves with a complicated routine.

Here are some simple tips that will help you design your routine.

I’ll encourage you to start with these and be consistent before adding more.

· Create a to-do list in advance

Whether or not you will have a good day starts from the night before. Try to create a list of your goals or tasks at night. Create a simple list. 

Focus on happy thoughts no matter how bad your day went as you drift to sleep.

Leverage the power of visualization. Start picturing yourself achieving your goals and tasks for the next day. You’ll wake up refreshed and inspired for the next day.

· Breathe deeply

Once you wake up, breathe deeply for at least a minute before doing anything else. It’s ideal to take this step before reaching for your smartphone. Enjoy the silence and stillness.

· Practice gratitude

Find at least three things to be grateful for and state why you’re grateful for each. Your list can comprise what has happened, the things that are currently happening, and those blessings that you’re expecting.

· Journal

Do a brain dump in your journal. Write the words as they flow. This will give you clarity. Now, you’re ready to start your day.

I’ll encourage you to start with these first and be consistent before adding any other routine. With time, you’ll be more productive, happier, and have enough energy for each day. 

Mindset Revamp: Seven Simple Steps for Crushing The Seeming Giants of Limiting Mindsets

My first book, Mindset Revamp: Seven Simple Steps For Crushing The Seeming Giants Of Limiting Mindsets is now available for preorder!

Living an enriching and vibrant life starts with the right mindset. Mindset Revamp is a no fluff guide for overcoming limiting beliefs that often keep us stuck in different facets of our lives. 

This ebook offers simple and practical steps for gaining clarity, unlocking endless possibilities, and moving past overwhelm in this fast-paced world.


When you preorder a copy of "Mindset Revamp," you'll get an affirmation bundle as a gift. This will help you fast-track your journey to a healthy mindset. 

Click selar.co/mindsetrevamp to grab your copy now at N1,500 only.

If you wish to do a transfer, kindly do so to the account number below and send a proof of payment to +2348069485009 on Whatsapp.



Adebola Esther Adekile

Mindset Revamp: Decluttering Your Lingua

Photo by S Migaj on Unsplash

Our words carry immense power which we often underestimate. They can either build up or tear down. Verbal abuse often has far-reaching effect on people especially if it started during childhood. 

The wounds of negative words can take years to heal. It’s not surprising that many people are carrying these wounds around and have become abusers themselves. This is pathetic and most people don’t know better.

Prov 18:14 says,

“The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters. The wellspring of wisdom is a flowing brook."

You’re your prophet. Our words and thoughts are the tools for creating our reality. Words are not just sound waves, they are spiritual forces. Given this, we need to be conscious about what we say and how we say it.

It’s not only the word spoken to us by others that can cause harm. Our self-talk is even more powerful and defines our reality.

Without words, thought can never become a reality. If negative words can cause so much damage, then what’s the way out?

1. Increase the volume of your kind inner voice

That voice is always there but the reason you can’t hear it clearly is that negativity has silenced it over the years. Increasing it will enable you to speak kindly to yourself and others.

2. Change your inner script

This strategy will come in handy when people talk to you rudely, say negative words to you, or about you. If such people say "you’re dumb," remind yourself that you’re super creative and smart.

These people are just trying to project their insecurities on you or trying to use negativity to fill a void in their lives. This strategy doesn’t work 

The best thing you can do for yourself is to change your inner script and move on.

3. Speak with authority

Mattew 7:7 says, 

"Ask and it shall be given to you." 

Say what you want how you want it. Don’t even give room for doubt. Say it as if it has already happened. For instance, instead of saying, “how I wish I can get a better apartment before September end,” switch it to "I’ve already moved into my perfect apartment by September 31st."

4. Avoid depressing talk

Avoid complaining. It will only dampen your spirit. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be vulnerable or empathize with others, but don’t engage in it to the point of throwing a pity party.

5. Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations

Affirmations are powerful. The more you repeat them, the more they will sink into your subconscious. With time, you’ll start believing them until they become your reality. You can design a customized affirmation board with the plain side of an old calendar, sticky notes, and a permanent marker. 

Consider including powerful phrases such as,

“I am extraordinary.”

“I am fearless.”

“I am enough.”

“I believe in me.”

“I can do this.”

“I get better every day.”

Design your affirmation board and use it to shape your reality.