How to Reach Out When Depressed
“No man is an island, entire of
itself; every man is a piece of the continent.”
John
Donne
Do you ever feel like the world is
made up of two parties - the strong and the weak? Well, I feel so
too. Many people are quick to give a helping hand but fail to seek
help when they need it. Not needing help has become our definition of
strong.
We have placed so
much hype on people that tend to be "doing things on their own."
It’s common to hear comments like "I am self-made" flying
up and down. Let me say at this point that no one is truly
independent and no one is dependent, we are all interdependent.
We are all
connected and we need others to survive. Dependency is about relying
on someone, independence is about relying on yourself. However,
interdependence is a balance between dependence and independence.
It’s the point
where giving or receiving does not make you any better or worse. An
interdependent mindset allows you to understand that your self-worth
doesn't increase or diminish when you offer or are offered
assistance.
What shows that
you are comfortable and not ashamed of your imperfections or mistakes
is your ability to share with someone. Taking this step could help us
even see the whole picture with a new pair of glasses.
When you truly
love yourself, you will discover that love is not a one-way journey
but love is about giving and receiving. Brene Brown said,
"open-hearted receiving leads to open-hearted giving."
As someone who
practices self-love, you should be able to occasionally open up and
share with people your challenges or shortcoming. This will save you
the stress of staying in the "valley of destitution."
Building your
self-worth revolves around accepting yourself the way you are despite
your imperfections. Besides, it entails going the extra mile to seek
out a listening ear when you get it wrong and life happens. This is a
constant reminder that you are not ashamed of yourself.
Reaching out to others
Reaching out
means standing up to the "never good enough trap," and
sharing our story with someone who has earned the right to hear it.
It'll be interesting to know that shame buried or hidden will always
have a way to hunt us.
The fastest way
to overcome depression and cast shame away is by reaching out and talking to someone because
shame loves secrecy. You overpower shame when you reach out. Since
you want to reach out, be careful not to share your story with the
wrong people.
6 Things to consider when choosing friends
You can have many
friends, but you should be mindful of who you allow into your inner
circle. In selecting friends to share with, you should be able to
pick someone that;
2. You would be
able to share with and the person will show empathy (understanding)
not sympathy (sorry).
3. Is not expecting you to be perfect. You should share with someone that can deal with your imperfections or mistakes and understand that no one wants to mess up but sometimes life happens. Share with someone that will offer constructive criticism instead of scolding you. Such a friend will be ready to hold your hands and stand by you as you heal from the experience.
4. Is mentally strong. You don’t want to be caught sharing with vulnerable people who can’t handle vulnerability because you may end up opening their wounds and hurting them in the process.
5. Is not a finger pointer; always looking for someone to blame.