How to Reach Out When Depressed

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent.”
John Donne

Do you ever feel like the world is made up of two parties - the strong and the weak? Well, I feel so too. Many people are quick to give a helping hand but fail to seek help when they need it. Not needing help has become our definition of strong.

We have placed so much hype on people that tend to be "doing things on their own." It’s common to hear comments like "I am self-made" flying up and down. Let me say at this point that no one is truly independent and no one is dependent, we are all interdependent.

We are all connected and we need others to survive. Dependency is about relying on someone, independence is about relying on yourself. However, interdependence is a balance between dependence and independence.

It’s the point where giving or receiving does not make you any better or worse. An interdependent mindset allows you to understand that your self-worth doesn't increase or diminish when you offer or are offered assistance.

What shows that you are comfortable and not ashamed of your imperfections or mistakes is your ability to share with someone. Taking this step could help us even see the whole picture with a new pair of glasses.

When you truly love yourself, you will discover that love is not a one-way journey but love is about giving and receiving. Brene Brown said, "open-hearted receiving leads to open-hearted giving."

As someone who practices self-love, you should be able to occasionally open up and share with people your challenges or shortcoming. This will save you the stress of staying in the "valley of destitution."

Building your self-worth revolves around accepting yourself the way you are despite your imperfections. Besides, it entails going the extra mile to seek out a listening ear when you get it wrong and life happens. This is a constant reminder that you are not ashamed of yourself.

Reaching out to others

Reaching out means standing up to the "never good enough trap," and sharing our story with someone who has earned the right to hear it. It'll be interesting to know that shame buried or hidden will always have a way to hunt us.

The fastest way to overcome depression and cast shame away is by reaching out and talking to someone because shame loves secrecy. You overpower shame when you reach out. Since you want to reach out, be careful not to share your story with the wrong people.

6 Things to consider when choosing friends

You can have many friends, but you should be mindful of who you allow into your inner circle. In selecting friends to share with, you should be able to pick someone that;

1. Is not ashamed of you even after hearing your story. 

2. You would be able to share with and the person will show empathy (understanding) not sympathy (sorry).

3. Is not expecting you to be perfect. You should share with someone that can deal with your imperfections or mistakes and understand that no one wants to mess up but sometimes life happens. Share with someone that will offer constructive criticism instead of scolding you. Such a friend will be ready to hold your hands and stand by you as you heal from the experience.

4. Is mentally strong. You don’t want to be caught sharing with vulnerable people who can’t handle vulnerability because you may end up opening their wounds and hurting them in the process.

5. Is not a finger pointer; always looking for someone to blame.

6. Is available and has time for you.

Written by Richard Okiasi.
Richard is a writer and author. He speaks and writes about the things he's learning and practicing as he grows his mind, finance, business, and investment. You can connect with him on TwitterFacebook, and LinkedIn

Stop Throwing Your Ideas Away!

Learn the number one secret highly successful people apply to preserve their ideas.

Picture this: You have an idea that will wow the world, it's fresh, it's new, it's everything amazing. If you put the idea to work your friends will love it, your parents will be proud of you, the government will immortalize your name.
You think through the idea again, you are blown away, you can't get enough, you fantasize a little more about it. You vow that you'll do it, you convince yourself that you can. Feeling like Obama you scream out "Yes! I Can."
Two days down the line you have not started a thing or moved a pin to achieve this mind-blowing idea. You vow that you'll start the next day, the next day you swear it must be the next day.
1 month, 2 months, 3, now we are in 4 you have started losing touch of what the idea really is, what's the goal or target again? All of a sudden "Yes I can" turns to "Why Should I?" or "When can I?"
You are beginning to lose hope and the confidence you had in yourself. You think about the idea again and how haphazard your idea is now, then you decide it's not worth it anymore, you throw in the towel, you quit!
I know this routine, it plays out every now and then, it can happen to anyone. But it should stop happening to you, you need to stop following that route that leads to you quitting on your goals.
Listen to me; The first thing you do when you get an idea is not to jump everywhere and scream Eureka! The first thing to do is to WRITE DOWN THAT IDEA.
If you are not close to writing material, look for a media to record your idea/plan/goal, this can not be overstressed. If the closest thing to you is your phone do a voice record or a video of you talking about the idea, go ahead and record/video.
Do not just leave the idea in your head and be screaming. Ideas come in like diffusion and escape like osmosis.
Once that idea comes, as fresh and pure as it is, find a way to record your thoughts as soon as possible.
This is how you preserve your ideas, bringing them out of your head into a media.
Hope this was helpful to you?
Thank you for reading.

Written by Richard Okiasi.
Richard is a writer and author. He speaks and writes about the things he's learning and practicing as he grows his mind, finance, business, and investment. You can connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

7 Self-Care Strategies for Business Owners

The first quarter of 2019 is over and several people are determined to maximize the rest of the year. The average entrepreneur tends to put self-care at the back burner. This is partly due to the fact business owners face a lot of pressure at work. 

There are different misleading notions of self-care online. Contrary to popular opinion, self-care isn’t expensive. It goes beyond booking a spa session or splurging on the latest skin care treatment. 

Self-care is the key to living a balanced life, PsychCentral. It equips entrepreneurs with the stamina to handle the demands of running a business. Without much ado, let's take a look at what the practice entails. 

1. Regular exercise

Exercising helps individuals to alleviate depression, boost cognitive function, sleep better and lower stress levels. Mood enhancing endorphins are usually released during the process.

It’s not compulsory to get a gym membership before you can engage in physical activities. Consider using the stairs, jogging or going for a walk.

The pros of exercising outdoor include enjoying the fresh air and getting vitamin D. Remember to splash on some sunscreen with an SPF of at least 30 for optimum protection against UV rays.

2. Create leisure time

Entrepreneurs often work extra hours at different stages of their business. It can be nearly impossible to have enough time for breaks.

Scheduling a getaway is an antidote for stress and will give you a new lease on life. You can also engage in your favorite activities or listen to music during breaks.

Humans are designed to connect with others to function better. Sadly, social media is gradually replacing face-to-face interactions. Entrepreneurs should take deliberate steps to leave the comfort of their workspace and network with others.

3. Have a digital detox

Without mincing words, technology is changing how we do businesses. It’s easier to get information about your target customers, market and competitors unlike decades ago.

People survived long before digital devices became mainstream. Everyone should take a digital detox once in a while. This is crucial for tackling information overload and stress.

4. Breathe deeply

Pause to take a deep breath. 



How do you feel?

It’s obvious that you don’t need to put in extra effort into breathing because it happens naturally. However, the goal is to breathe mindfully regardless of the situation.

Taking this step can help you to achieve balance, enhance focus and gain control over your mind. Some mobile apps come with different breathing techniques that you can apply.

5. Invest in your workspace

It may be difficult to stay motivated if you don’t love your space. Make sure that the room has enough natural light with proper ventilation.

Investing in ergonomic furniture will assist you to maintain good posture and boost your efficiency. The next thing is to design your workspace with artwork, accent pieces, houseplants and other things that you find appealing.

Adding a fresh coat of paint or designing an accent wall can transform any room and improve your mind. Plan each day ahead and create a to-do list for better organization. Your best bet is to develop a system that works for you and stick to it.

6. Reward yourself   

Being an entrepreneur comes with different perks. You can decide to work at any time of the day and any location of your choice.

Reward yourself from time to time by giving yourself treats. For instance, watch a movie, book a massage session or have a relaxing bath at the end of the day with Epsom salt and scented candles.

7. Delegate 

Entrepreneurs are pros at multi-tasking. Even so, this approach has its cons. Delegating tasks is a smart way to minimize stress and save resources in your business.

You can do a SWOT analysis and outsource the tasks that you lack the skills or don't have enough time to handle.

This can go a long way to boost your efficiency. It's not necessary to hire full-time staffs if you don't have the financial capacity yet. The best thing is to get the best freelancers and virtual assistance via referrals or on the internet. 

Got other self-care tips, let's keep the ball rolling in the comments below. 

5 Steps You Can Take to Improve Your Mental Health Right Now

Image by Wokandapix from Pixabay
The percentage of people battling with one mental health issue or the other keep increasing at an alarming rate. According to WHO, around 450 million people are suffering from mental or neurological disorders globally.

In a recent study, the FG revealed that 30% of Nigerians suffer from mental illness, VanguardMany people find it difficult to seek professional help due to the stigma surrounding the condition. 

Mental health problems can get in the way of our productivity and lead to a lower quality of life. Every individual is bound to face challenges and things won’t always go as planned. 

Maintaining sound mental health can help us to respond better to anything that life throws at us and bounce back in no time.

Here are some cost-effective ways to enhance your mental health. 

1. Improve your diet

The food we eat usually influence our mental health, sleep patterns, immune system, and energy levels. Walnut, avocado, herring, sardines, fish oil supplements, fruits, and leafy greens are your best bet for promoting a good mood.

Cut down your intake of processed foods because they are high in sugar and unhealthy fats. Try to take alcohol and caffeine in moderation especially around bedtime. 

2.  Keep a gratitude journal

A grateful soul is a fountain of joy. Develop the habit of writing a list of the things you’re grateful for daily. This practice has been proven to boost mental health and wellness.

Mobile apps can come in handy to keep you on track by setting reminders. Endeavor to include both your minor and major achievements in the gratitude journal

3. Get quality sleep

Sleep deprivation is a major issue that is faced by millennials and baby boomers. It’s caused by a number of factors and most of them can be controlled.

Ensure that you stop using your smartphone or PC at least an hour before bedtime. Alternatively, you can rely on software with features for filtering blue light.

Stick to a bedtime routine to help you fall and stay asleep better and sleep in a cool environment. 

4. Help others

Several individuals have discovered that they often feel better each time they help others. The world still needs a touch of kindness here and there.

You can spend time with lonely or sick people, volunteer for a cause, donate to charity or send a thank you note to your loved ones.

Come up with different ways to improve the existing relationships in your life. This can help you to develop strong bonds with your loved ones.

5. Don’t suffer in silence 

People prefer bottling up their emotions due to so many reasons. It can be hard to find someone to trust in a world where everyone is after their selfish interests.

No one wants to be perceived as a weakling. The fact that people rarely speak up about mental health problems doesn’t mean you’re alone. 

Mental health organizations such as Mentally Aware Nigeria Initiative (MANI) exist to create awareness and help individuals to overcome stigma. 

Connect with people who care about your emotional well being online or in person. It’s ideal to be in the company of positive people. Sharing your story can help you to feel better and find a lasting solution. 

The best thing is to seek professional help if none of these suggestions work. A therapist will design a treatment plan that fits your needs and help you develop coping mechanisms. 

Over to you, how do you take care of your mental health?